


The Tickle Monster Always Wins

by august_anon



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Lee!Roman, Teasing, Tickling, ler!patton, ticklish!roman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-03
Updated: 2020-02-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:28:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22546303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/august_anon/pseuds/august_anon
Summary: Roman really shouldn't have doubted Patton's skills as a ruthless tickle monster. He was really in for it, now.Warning: This is a tickle fic!
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	The Tickle Monster Always Wins

**Author's Note:**

> Hey hey, this is a birthday fic for @phantomtickles on tumblr!! I had a lot of fun writing it, hope y'all enjoy!

Patton was soft. Patton was gentle. Patton was squishy. Patton was kind.

Really, Patton was anything  _ except _ adjacent with what Roman had been doing all day, which just so happened to be destroying every other side in the mind palace with tickles. Every other side, except for Patton, that was.

Which is why he was going to be the next victim.

He wanted to lure Patton into a false sense of security, so he waited until the four of them had gathered in the commons for some post-lunch quality time together, spent watching some Netflix.

“You’ve been on quite the spree today, kiddo,” Patton remarked, settling back into the cushions next to Roman, while Virgil and Logan settled on Patton’s other side. “It sounds like a lot of fun!”

Roman grinned, sensing the perfect opportunity to strike.

“Indeed,” Logan commented, “you’ve been almost as successful at destroying us as Patton is.”

Wait. What?!

Roman laughed out loud. “ _ Patton _ ,” he said, wheezing the name out through chuckles. “An evil tickle monster?” A fresh wave of laughter washed over him as he settled a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “Sorry, Padre, I love you, you know that, but you are no ruthless tickle monster.”

Patton raised an eyebrow in his direction as one corner of his mouth ticked up in a smirk. “Keep telling yourself that, kiddo,” he joked. “You wouldn’t be able to handle me.”

Roman scoffed. “Is that a challenge? Sorry, Popstar, but I’m not all that scared.”

He heard Virgil snort from Patton’s other side and mutter, “Your funeral.”

Roman barely had time to furrow his brow before he was pushed onto the couch, back hitting the cushions and shirt getting pushed up as far as it could go. Patton settled his entire body weight over his legs, laying along them like it was the most comfortable thing ever (which must’ve been a weird angle for him seeing as they’d gotten tossed over Virgil and Logan’s laps), and grinning up at Roman from his position, cocking his head to the side.

“I bet,” he chirped excitedly, “that I don’t even have to really  _ tickle _ you to destroy you. I bet I can have you  _ begging _ for me to actually tickle you.”

Roman smirked. He doubted Patton could keep that up for long. “Still not sacred, Patty-Cake, do your worst.”

Patton’s cheerful grin shifted until it was almost predatory, shocking Roman to his core (he didn’t even know Patton could  _ make _ that face!), as he said, “Oh, Ro, sweetheart, I don’t think you could  _ handle _ me at my worst. Sorry, jellybean.”

Roman scoffed again, but this time it was a little less sure. “Please,” he said. “How bad could it be? You’re just a puffball of preciousness, there’s no way you could destroy a prince such as  _ I _ . Perhaps Logan and Virgil are just weaker than I am.”

Patton hummed, leaning down and brushing a soft kiss against Roman’s waistline, making the muscles and skin underneath him twitch. The smirk returned. “I think I better just give you a fraction of my worst this time, how does that sound? I mean, I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you with my  _ preciousness _ .”

Patton’s lips dragged, barely-touching, to the other side of his waist. They left a maddening tingling in their wake that left Roman holding in a gasp. He could  _ not _ show weakness.

That all flew out the window when Patton pressed three more feather-light kisses against his waistline as a mirror of the other one, right on his side, a mini-sweet-spot. He couldn’t help the sharp breath he drew in through his nose. Patton’s sharp gaze immediately found his, locking him in eye contact he for some reason couldn’t escape, but made his face burn.

“Oh, Ro~,” he sang softly. “Am I winning yet?”

“Absolutely not,” Roman said haughtily, though his voice wavered slightly. “I was just… sighing. Because I was bored.”

Virgil snorted and Roman almost jumped. He’d forgotten the others were there. He didn’t dignify Virgil with a response.

“Bit of a backwards sigh there, kiddo. Anything…  _ bothering _ you? Something making you a little…  _ nervous _ , maybe?”

Roman cleared his throat. “Nope. Nothing.”

Patton hummed a disbelieving hum and went back to barely trailing his mouth against Roman’s skin. He pursed his lips and blew out a cool stream of air near the bottom of Roman’s ribcage, making Roman flinch. He didn’t even bother speaking to Roman that time, he just moved on while making eye contact again and chuckling lowly.

The sound sent shivers up his spine.

Roman could quickly feel his desire to tickle others beginning to fade into something a little…  _ different _ . He fought to hold onto his ler mood, unwilling to be defeated. He desperately wracked his brain for teases he could use against Patton, both to throw him off his game and to keep himself in the lead.

He came up blank when Patton cut his train of thought short by giving a quick nibble to the rim of his belly button. Roman squeaked and had to hold his breath to keep to squeak from turning into a full-on squeal.

“See, Roman?” Patton cooed. “It’s really not that hard, when you get down to it. Really, it’s cute that you think you can hold out. Virgil and Logan thought so, too.”

He paused in the middle of speaking to quickly dip his tongue into Roman’s belly button and pull it back out, causing Roman to squeal out a, “Gross!” that was bordering on a giggle.

“You’ll give in soon enough, little giggle bug. They always do. Why not make it a little easier on yourself and just give in now? I might have mercy, if you do.”

Roman took a second to steady his breathing, still determined to win this thing. “You’d never get me good enough for me to need mercy anyway.”

“Your tone of voice at the beginning of this situation started out so strong,” Logan called teasingly from the other end of the couch. “I wonder what could have happened to make it sound so small and  _ flustered _ .”

Roman scowled as his face burned once more, (gently) kicking at Logan. “Stay out of this, you  _ nerd _ , it’s not your fight.”

“Even your skill with nicknames is starting to fail you,” Virgil mused, smirking down at him. “What  _ ever _ could be causing it?”

Roman resisted the urge to squirm, as even teasing was sending tingles through his body, now. “This doesn’t  _ concern _ you,  _ Virgil _ .”

Patton pressed another feather-kiss on the patch of skin below Roman’s belly button before speaking, letting his lips brush against Roman’s skin with every word. “Now now, sweet tarts, there’s nothing wrong with getting a little revenge. After all the  _ tickling _ you put those boys through. Targeting all of their worst  _ tickle _ spots to make them  _ wail _ .”

Roman couldn’t stop the whine that escaped his throat. He squirmed lightly.

Patton stopped in the middle of his tease to give him that toothy, predatory grin again. “Oh? What was that, candy button?”

“Nothing,” Roman ground out, though he wanted nothing more than to wail,  _ stop saying that  _ word _ already _ !

Patton’s mouth moved so his teeth could lightly nip at the tip of one of Roman’s hipbones, causing another small gasp. He shifted down and let his lips brush against the divot as he spoke, “So it had nothing to do with anything I was saying? Not even that one  _ extra special _ word? Maybe I should say it again, just for you, hm?”

Roman resisted the urge to shake his head frantically, trying to push away the butterflies in his stomach by thinking about ler things. It wasn’t working. All he could think about was how ticklish Patton’s mouth felt against his skin, even when it was hardly even touching.

“Ah- _ tickle-tickle-tickle-tickle _ ! Hm? Does that make you all tingly, tootsie roll? Does it make all those cute little butterflies tickle you from the inside? I bet it does!” He nipped at and around Roman’s hipbone for a few moments. “You know, you could make this all end by just asking me to tickle you  _ real _ nicely. Though, since you didn’t take my offer earlier, I can’t promise that  _ I’ll _ be nice while doing so.”

Roman shook his head and brought his hands up to hide his tomato-red face. He whined once more, again out of his control.

“Aww, is Ro-Ro a little flustered?” Patton fake-gasped against his pantline, sending ticklish shockwaves through his skin. “Is Ro-Ro  _ losing _ his  _ own challenge _ ? Oh, poor sugarbean, I tried to warn you! I wonder how long you’ll last before all those begs and pleas come spilling out.~”

“They won’t,” he ground out, flinching as Patton mouthed across his pantline to nip around his other hipbone.

“I think they will,” Patton murmured between teasing touches. “Sorry, sweetpea, but no one can face me and win. After all, the tickle monster  _ always _ wins.”

“ _ I’m _ the tickle monster!”

“Sorry, jolly rancher, not anymore. I think you’re a little too keyed up for that now, hm? Come on, royal smiles! Can you really deny how much you’re starting to  _ ache _ to be tickled? Based on your squirmy little torso and that adorably flushed face of yours, you can’t honestly deny that I’m not  _ winning _ .”

Roman was barely aware of Logan and Virgil slipping out from under their bodies. They wiggled their fingers at him as they walked past to leave the room, devilish smirks and smiles overtaking their expressions. Roman squeezed his eyes shut and made a tortured noise deep in his throat.

“Gonna stop being so proud, kitkat? It’s just us now, you don’t have to save face. Just give in. You know you want to.~”

Roman didn’t even know if he could speak anymore. His body was covered in maddening tingles, desperate for a ticklish touch. His face was more vibrantly red than even his sash. He was more flustered than he thought he had ever been in his  _ life _ .

But Roman was nothing if not stubborn. So he went against every self-preservation instinct he had and shook his head once more.

Patton let out a heavy breath through his nose, sending the air across his skin and making him squeal. “You know, sweet skittle, I’ve given you plenty of opportunities to give in. I think I’ve been very nice about it, actually. But  _ you _ ,  _ tsk _ , you have been  _ very _ difficult. Really, it’s rather rude.”

_ Oh no _ , Roman thought. 

Patton mouthed across his waist again before sitting up fully, and Roman had to hold in yet another whine. “Really, now, sour patch, it’s been quite a long time. Maybe I should just let you stew awhile, let you  _ think _ about this. Truly, if you haven’t broken now, I wonder if you will.” Patton’s voice was light, airy, unconcerned.

He started to stand. Roman realized he was just going to  _ leave _ him there, now far too deep in a lee mood for anything to save him from it. He reached out and snatched Patton’s wrist.

“Please,” he murmured.

Patton huffed at him, raising an unimpressed eyebrow, though Roman could see a secret smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Please  _ what _ , Roman. Truly, I’ve given up, you’ve won.”

Roman threw his head back, making some sound between a groan and a whine, and forced out a, “Please, tickle me.”

Patton settled his weight down, straddling Roman’s legs again. “I see. Well, it looks like I win, then, huh, sugar snap? But allow me to remind you, I only said I could get you  _ asking _ for it. I never said it would end with me tickling you.”

Roman covered his face again and whined, long and drawn out and embarrassed.

“And you’ve been so rude, should I really reward you with what you want? You’ll have to ask  _ really _ nicely for me to even  _ consider _ giving you any tickles, now, gigglemunch.”

Roman cursed himself for being so prideful. He knew Patton was just toying with him, just trying to key him up even more before he truly swooped in to destroy him, but he couldn’t help the desperate little thought that whispered  _ what if he just  _ left _ you like this to torture you, left you in this lee mood to suffer and tease you until you would do anything for even the smallest tickle _ .

He couldn’t deny that this deep in, the thought was almost appealing. But he couldn’t be that patient, today.

“Please, Patton,” he begged. “Please tickle me, I’m sorry for being so difficult, please just  _ wreck _ me already, I need it. You were right, you’re the biggest tickle monster, you win,  _ please _ .”

The predatory grin stretched across his face once more. “One more time for me, starburst?”

“ _ Please  _ tickle me, Pat, please, I’m  _ begging _ you.”

Patton smirked and spidered his fingernails down the fleshy parts of Roman’s sides with barely-there touches. Roman made some sound that was a mix between a whine and a giggle.

“Since you asked so nicely, I’ll have a  _ little  _ mercy on you.”

_ Oh _ , Roman thought.  _ This is what he meant by mercy earlier. Not going easy on the tickling, but actually tickling me. _ He should’ve given in sooner.

Roman, hoping to entice Patton to tickle him more, looked away and lifted his arms up, gripping onto the armrest above his head.

“Oh, how sweet of you to cooperate. Maybe you deserve a little reward for that.”

His touch got a little firmer and he wiggled his fingers around Roman’s stomach. It was finally enough to drive Roman into light giggles and he squirmed a little at the maddeningly soft touch.

“What do I have to do to get you to  _ wreck _ me?” Roman cried out through his giggles.

Patton cocked his head, toying his fingers gently around Roman’s sensitive hips. “Hmmm. Say that I’m the  _ best _ tickle monster that has ever and will ever exist--”

“You’re the best--”

“ _ And _ ,” Patton cut him off with an evil smirk, starting to skitter his nails up Roman’s ribs, “you have to tell me your absolute  _ worst _ spots in the whole wide world.”

Roman clamped his mouth shut and squeezed up his face in consideration. He hated admitting weak points and, even though he wanted nothing more than for Patton to target those exact places and make him scream, it was extremely difficult for him to talk himself into actually saying it. He took a deep breath. 

“Patton, you’re the best tickle monster in the world, the best there ever has been or ever will be. Your skills are unparalleled.” He hesitated.

“Aww, you flatterer!” Patton cooed. “Is there anything  _ else _ you want to tell me?”

Roman took another deep breath, practically throwing the words up. “MyWorstSpotsAreMyArmpitsAndThighs _ Please _ TickleMeThere!”

Patton left one hand still slowly moving up his ribcage, while the other came up to cup his ear. “Hm? What was that? I didn’t quite catch that?”

“Armpits and thighs,” Roman ground out.

“What about them, snickers?” Patton asked cheekily.

Roman squeezed his eyes shut again and dug his nails further into the couch’s plush armrest. “They’re my… worst spots.”

“And which is  _ absolutely _ worst?”

“A-armpits.”

“Thanks, kiddo! How nice of you to tell me!”

And Patton’s hand immediately redirected back down his ribs, much to Roman’s disappointment. “We’ll save that for later, hm?”

And suddenly there was squeezing at his sides and Roman finally broke into laughter, the titters left behind in the dust. Then, Patton leaned down and started kissing and nibbling playfully at his neck and ears, making nomming noises. Roman squealed through his laughter and tried to scrunch up like a turtle, but Patton’s head prevented him from any sort of protection.

“P-Pat!” He shrieked.

“Ro-Ro!” Patton mocked. “What’s wrong, I thought you wanted this?”

Roman didn’t answer, just let himself laugh. His laughter kicked up a notch when Patton started switching between kneading the slight pudge on his stomach and pinching at his hips, all while blowing tiny raspberries around his neck.

Eventually, Patton pulled back slightly and smiled down at him. “How  _ badly _ do you wanna be wrecked, laffy taffy?”

Roman whine-giggled and buried his face in his arm, still not lowering them even to cover his face better. “Really bad.”

Patton scooted back on his legs so he was straddling near Roman’s knees, leaving him unable to bend them for protection. Roman gasped, both regretting and rejoicing that he’d worn shorts that day for maximum flexibility when wrecking everyone. Patton tweaked the tops of his thighs and Roman bucked with a loud shriek.

“Ooh, this  _ is _ a good spot,” Patton chirped, smirking up at Roman.

He held his wiggling fingers up for Roman to see and started  _ slowly _ lowering them towards his thighs. Roman tried to bounce them in anticipation, but with Patton sitting around his knees, he couldn’t make his legs budge.

“Here come the wiggly, tickly claws,~” Patton sang. “They’re coming for you, tickle bug.~”

Roman squealed even though they weren’t even touching him yet and started giggling hysterically.

“These little claws are gonna….  _ Getcha-getcha-getcha _ !”

“Pat!” Roman shrieked, watching the descending hands as they got slower and slower.

“Yes, sweetums?”

Roman made a sound akin to an audible keysmash, at which Patton actually had to pause and laugh.

“You’re too cute, sweet cheeks.”

Roman pouted at him.

“Oh, alright,” Patton teased, and his hands touched down.

Roman shrieked and immediately started cackling as Patton’s hands vibrated and squeezed and kneaded and wiggled all across and in-between his sensitive thighs. It took all of his willpower and concentration to keep his hold on the armrest and not bolt up and try to stop Patton’s hands.

Out of nowhere, Patton scooted up and buried his hands into Roman’s underarms. Roman’s eyes bulged out and he laughed harder than he can remember laughing in his whole life. He didn’t remember normal tickling ever, well,  _ tickling _ this much. He was barely keeping his arms up, at this point.

It was  _ awesome _ .

After tormenting his armpits for a while, Patton switched it up again. One hand reached back to torment a thigh, one hand stayed torturing his armpits, and Patton’s mouth went back to nibbling, kissing, and blowing raspberries all over his stomach, sides, and hips.

Roman was laughing so hard, there were tears of mirth streaming down his burning cheeks. His laughter went from frantic, to hysterical, to silent, and his arms came crashing down, gluing themselves to his sides.

Patton stopped. Roman panted, giggling still.

“Whaddya say, kiddo?” Patton asked cheerfully, ruthless tickle monster persona dropping instantly.

Roman giggled a little hysterically at the change. “I’d say you all were definitely right. No one beats the tickle monster that is Patton Sanders.”

Patton giggled, helping him sit up and grabbing a water bottle off the coffee table for him. “You doing alright?”

Roman grinned. “I’m doing  _ spectacularly _ ,” he said, before gulping down the water greedily.

“Cuddles?” Patton offered, arms open wide.

Roman’s smile softened and he snuggled down into Patton’s chest. “Cuddles,” he agreed tiredly, energy suddenly sapping out of him as soon as he connected with Patton’s warm body.

“Take a nap, almond  _ joy _ , you earned it.”

Roman didn’t have to be told twice. He was out like a light within minutes, soothed quickly by Patton’s breathing and heartbeat, and the TV droning on uselessly in the background.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment or kudos if you'd like, and come visit me on tumblr at august-anon!


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